Whenever guitar players go on a gear rant I usually pull out a line about how guitar players are dumb and bass players will play a bass made out of a2x4 plugged into a speaker from a 1986 Camaro Berlinetta.
That’s a thing.
About six months out of every year I go into my “I want to make something real” phase. I spend a lot of time pushing 0s and 1s for the man and then I take pictures using 0s and 1s and then I put 0s and 1s out on the internet for you to interpret as words. Meanwhile The Mrs. is constantly coming up with vague projects for me to work on 1 also, 30 year old house.
You know what’ll make you use power tools? Owning a 30 year old house.
So, what does a bass made out of 2x4s have to do with my exploits in improvisational carpentry? Well, while hunting around YouTube for instructions on how to build something I stumbled across an entire culture of building new crap out of old crap. They call it “upcycling,” but that’s mostly just a cute way of saying turning trash into stuff you wouldn’t mind seeing in your house.
The single most popular upcycling material appears to be discarded, wooden pallets which you can find for free all around wherever it is you live. Most people like them for their rustic charm. I like them because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and screwing up free wood is cheaper than screwing up wood I bought from Home Depot.
Anyway, while (dumpster?) diving into this community I ran across Tim Sway. Tim states up front that his videos aren’t there to teach you how to do stuff but to inspire you to do stuff.2
Now, Tim Sways videos often break the rules of the internet3. Tim doesn’t seem to be a butt, there are no cats and nothing in any video he’s ever done has induced any boners.
I mean the video of he and his son making a hovercraft made my heart grow 10 sizes4
Also the video of him building a table using old hand tools reminded me that I don’t need a bunch of tools to make stuff5
But what Tim Swayed6 me with was the fact that he, literally, built a bass out of a 2×4. Also a couple of skis. Also a water ski.
I have a jigsaw, I have a router. I have a Woodcraft store within quick driving distance. I think it’s past time I built a guitar body. I don’t know if this means I should thank Tim Sway or damn him, but it’s time, kids. It’s time.
- The Mrs. watches a lot of DIY Network. This is bad, because the DIY Network is now the “A Licensed Contractor, a Professional Designer and a Crew of 20 Do a Project You Could Not Pull Off Yourself Network.” The only show on DIY about DIY is about how people who do it themselves always screw it up. What I’m saying is DIY Network is the worst. ↩
- I’ve heard hosts on DIY say the same thing. All DIY inspires me to do is hire a general contractor. Which, you know, I CAN do myself. No, seriously, the worst. ↩
- Rule 1: The internet is powered by kittens, assholishness and boners. ↩
- Don’t worry, it’s still too small to be detected by modern medical science. ↩
- Although I really, really would like to have a table saw again. ↩
- I wonder who gets what more: Tim getting that pun or me getting “No Show Jones” jokes? ↩