Judging Books By Their Covers Pt. 3

by | Nov 20, 2013 | Gear, Good Finds, Silly

Ho! Ho! Oh Crap, Look at that Visa bill!!!!

Black Santa Knows When You’ve Been Bad or Good, Children.

In this week’s preparation for Debtcember we discuss the low end theory.

The Fender Dimension Bass

86ceb3c861ac3d7b0737b2ccde488ca3 (2)This not at all Ernie Ball inspired bass comes at a suggested price of 700 US 100 cent units, which is relatively cheap for a real life Fender.  Doesn’t sound half bad in a club setting, either.

Daft Paragon Says

Look, I, personally, have issues with EB/MM over an interaction their legal department is having with the brother of a friend.  So, yeah, definitely buy this over whatever bass this design was stolen from.

 The Jackson Kellybird

After quitting his job at Peavey to go back on the payroll of an avowed nutcase1 “Dave Jr.” is getting more signature models than you can shake a stick at from Jackson.

Daft Paragon Says

OK, so a Kelly is a pointy, squared off Explorer.  A Firebird is a rounded off, softened up Explorer.  Now reverse it, drop the “s” and write it backwards again2.  How is a Kellybird not just an Explorer?

The MAN!!!!!!!

Also, I think the volume knob position would irk me pretty quickly.

The Hadeon EB-510 TWR


Rondo Music brings you this sub $200 four string from their “we don’t even bother to have the logo put on the headstock” range of super cheap, Chinese guitars and basses.  Oh the other hand, wood grain pickup covers.

Daft Paragon Says

Look, on some level we both know that this is probably going to be terrible.  That being said, wood grain pickup covers.


The ESP/LTD FB-204


I once almost bought my wife the Frank Bello Signature Squire because it had a big skull on it and big skulls are metal (also, my wife likes skulls).  After going back to ESP for another stint, his signature bases (even on the low end) are decidedly less juvenile.

Daft Paragon Says

When I think bass I think “P-Bass” the P/J bass is just about the most perfect bass ever created and the Bello series seems to nail it as well as any.

Still, it could use more skull.

  1. People in metal circles like to blame Dave Mustaine’s Christianity for his extreme, right-wing based lunacy.  I would like to point out that Dave Mustaine was kicked out of Metallica for being a substance abusing douchebag.  Let me restate, Dave Mustaine was kicked out of “Alchoholica,” a group that included Lars Ulrich, for being unbearable. Neither Christ, nor the Republicans are responsible for Dave being Dave.
  2. If you have not seen Black Dynamite you both will not get that joke and cannot be my friend.