Write what you know.

mal2

mal3

Well I don’t know shit about anything, so that does not leave me with many options. Wait now. Wait for half a moment. I do know something. I know that I have just come up with the best song title ever. Here it comes.

Driving in a Ferrari With Yngwie Malmsteen

This is an all purpose title any band may use with my permission for any style of music.

For example:

By taking advantage of this stellar title, it would take Weird Al about five minutes to write his very own Magnum Opus. The song would be fourteen minutes in length.*

There would be a bidding war between any self respecting tastefull prog metal, speed metal or slashdoomfestdubstep metal band for the right to pound the living shits out of a song under the umbrella of this incredible title.

Country song? Just read the title out loud with a southern drawl. The song writes itself. You don’t even have to write any more words. Just keep repeating with different inflections of blue collar beatdownedness.

Steve Vai could get the orchestra back together for this one.

The only style of music this would be incongruent with would be southern rock. I just don’t hear it. Country, yes. Southern rock. No. Odd.

Allow yourself, for just one moment, to suspend disbelief. Imagine you win a MTV video contest to be the guy in the Ferrari with Yngwie. For the love of all things Holy! If you look closely at one of the above pictures, you can see Mr.Malmsteen has a passanger. That could be you!

I bet, even at His heaviest, that putting Yngwie into any car automatically increases its top speed by 7mph.

Max Respect.

Next installment: Drum machines.

*The number fourteen in this context is not an arbitrary number. Anyone explaining the significance of this number gets a free note from me. Handwritten style.