Do not piss off your Firefighters



Here in the bustling metropolis of Milwaukee, Wisconsin; mass producer of corn flavored beer and Pillow Person shaped asses, our Firemen are leaving us behind. Here is a recent conversation I had with Ace McFahey, from Appleton’s Engine 4, Ladder Truck 3.

Daft Paragon: Thanks for doing this somewhat unconventional interview today.

Ace: No problem. Sure thing. Glad we could start on time.

Daft Paragon: I thought we agreed this was going to be a pleasant and civil interview.

Ace: Yeah, well I guess I kind of changed my mind.

Daft Paragon: Listen, you and your boys took two hours to respond to the blaze in our practice space last week. Two hours man. How was I not going to follow up on that. I mean c’mon!

Ace: A couple of weeks prior to your unfortunate episode, my girlfriend and I went out of our way to see your little band. We heard good things about your soulfull grooviness and I got a laugh out of the dancing monkey you had put onto your flyers. A flyer that said you were to begin playing at 10:00PM. We waited until 12:30 to hear you play; sat through 3 shitty opening bands we had never heard of, paid a seven dollar cover and stared at three people’s backs the entire night. We left before you went on. It was a glorious disappointment and waste of time.

Daft Paragon: That’s just the way the scene operates, man!

Ace: I must go. I have a feeling there is a toaster on fire somewhere in this city that needs my attention.

Daft Paragon: That’s cool. My band is playing at the K-Ranch next weekend. Be sure to tell all of your friends and check it out. We really deliver.

Ace: !!!?

  • Ryan

    I am almost positive it is this way all over the country and always has been. I really do not understand why, as it to a bands detriment. When you see a play, sporting event or a movie, you expect them to start on time. Your standard fare garage rock indie hipsters…not a chance. Why do you think this is?

  • Kate

    My husband gets really (amusingly) pissed off about shows starting late. He’s not a firefighter, but don’t expect him to help you fix your computer next time you ask, you lallygagging bunch of noise makers.

    Seriously, though… I understand that there are probably logistics and artistic temperaments that contribute to the culture of lateness in the performing arts, but I’m almost 30. If you start 2 hours after I expect you to, I will sleep through your show. Literally. And I know what literal means.

    • “Literally” means “Figuratively.”

      I’m not making that up. It’s in the dictionary. Which makes me sad.

      But I digress. Unless I’m *in* the band, I have no desire to sit around and wait on your band to play.

  • Ryan

    It certainly is frustrating. It is as if the bands think the longer they wait to play, the more people will show up to fill up the bar/venue. By that logic, if they NEVER play the audience will continue to arrive at an exponential rate, thus negating the need to ever play a note at all.

    I just blew my own mind.

  • As much as I dislike paying a fortune for a ticket (plus a small fortune in fees) for a big show and waiting 1.5 hours after the doors open to even get a sound check… the small bands are oh so much worse.

    We’ve been doing the music in a bar thing for how many decades now? If crowds don’t file in until after 11, then say that’s when the damn show starts. We should not be punished for being punctual.